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Sluggy of the Living Freelance

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Sluggy of the Living Freelance
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Sluggy of the Living Freelance is the fifth story in chapter 3 of Sluggy Freelance, Holiday Seasons. Zoë needs a break from school and work, and Riff and Torg invite her to a relaxing weekend in a house in the woods. What could go wrong?

Of course, soon Riff runs to board up the windows, as zombies have risen and are on the way to the house. Without contact to the outside, as Bun-bun has chewed the phone wire, and unarmed, as Bun-bun chewed through the rifle, the group panics and has a few false starts in barricading the house. Eventually, the zombies enter through the unchecked backdoor, and Riff punches one of them. Then it turns out that the "zombies" are in fact students that Bun-bun hired to act the part. He got a contract job with General Mayhem to create soldiers that couldn't die. When the students leave, Bun-bun reveals he would get 15 million from the general, so Riff and Torg dress up as zombies instead.

The general is confronted by Zoë and later Qwirky Waltons, with Torg and Riff hidden under a blanket, and the two use the opportunity to pun away. Their ability to talk and think makes General Mayhem angry, and declares the experiment a failure. Just then a military helicopter lands to put Mayhem under arrest, and it is revealed that the zombie plan was thought up by one of Mayhem's drinking buddies over a plate of microwaved pizza-rolls. At Mayhem's protest that the experiment worked, Riff and Torg reveal themselves as human. More stressed before her "relaxing weekend", Zoë also learns that the helicopter landed on her car.

Back home, Sam introduces Torg to the ferret Kiki and mentions that he found a way to have the other animals make money for him, as door-to-door salesmen. Kiki starts (to try) playing with Bun-bun, and Sam is worried about Bun-bun... he should be worried about Kiki, obviously. The other animals finally leave Sam and buy a mansion.

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